Tag: Mediator

Tips for Co-Parenting During and After Divorce

Even if you have a contentious relationship with your ex (or soon-to-be ex), you likely understand the importance for your children to have two involved parents. This alone might be enough of a motivating factor to convince you to consider co-parenting peacefully, even in the midst of a divorce.

So, what if you don’t get along with your child’s other parent? These tips will help you get through the divorce process while co-parenting effectively.

Tips for Co-Parenting During and After Divorce

Build Strong Communication Skills

Even if you struggle to communicate about the divorce or the assets involved in separation, you may be willing to compromise when it comes to the children. Communicate clearly with each other without using your child as a mediator or messenger. Decide together if you will communicate via text message, email, or phone. When you do communicate with your ex-spouse, avoid discussing custody, visitation, or child support. Some ex-spouses even go to therapy together to learn stronger communication skills, so you may consider going this route too.

Be Consistent When Possible

One of the best things you can do as co-parents is appear united to your children. You can do this by developing a plan of action and sticking to it. A parenting plan is a great way to establish consistency for your children and your ex-spouse. In your parenting plan, you would be wise to mention everything from how you will exchange custody to what rules and punishments you have in your homes.

Consider Mediation with a Professional

Mediation is available to help you establish boundaries, resolve family disputes, distribute property equitably, and reach agreements in such a way that you minimize any detrimental effects on your children. A professional mediator can walk you through the process to set you up for co-parenting success.

Ultimately, one of the best things you can do is remind yourself why you are doing this: your children. You don’t have to rebuild a strong relationship with your ex-spouse, but you can certainly establish the skills you need to co-parent effectively. Mediation can help. Contact us to learn more.

With a Good Mediator You Can Divorce Respectfully

Divorcing is hard, especially if you have children. Some look back as years wasted, others see the time as lessons learned. At one time you loved each other, and now perhaps you can’t stand to be in the same room together. This bitterness, resentment, hurt and anger is felt by the children you both love. Before you distress and upset them more than they already are, think about using mediation to resolve your issues.  No one is going to outright win in a divorce. Property and money will have to be divided, child visitation will have to be agreed upon, these are things you know. Why go into a courtroom to fight this out in a public forum? A mediator smooths the way for your children and your future. This salvages a bit of your relationship for your children. They are the ones who will be put in the middle of brooding, disdainful, angry parents. This is parenting at it’s worst.

With a Good Mediator You Can Divorce Respectfully

The Mediator’s Role

  • Define issues
  • Help each side understand the other’s position
  • Move differing parties to resolution

Sounds simple enough, however when tempers are flaring and harsh words are being spoken it is anything but. There may only be one long mediation session, or there may be many meetings with a mediator individually and together. After all, you probably took a while to decide to get married, the dissolution of the marriage may also take some time. The mediator needs to know exactly where each party is coming from, what they want, and how to accomplish that. Mediators do not take sides, that is not their purpose, they see the issue dispassionately and with guidance and negotiation help both sides come to a settlement.

If you are in this situation, contact us to help resolve this painful time of your life.

Arbitration vs. Litigation

Arbitration is a lot like mediation but it is not the same thing, it is a form of alternative dispute resolution where the power to decide a dispute is given to the arbitrator. The arbitrator is trained in arbitration and its applicable laws. They listen to arguments from both sides and reach a decision that is binding for both parties.

Arbitration vs. Litigation

When compared to litigation, arbitration offers these advantages:

  • Flexibility

An arbitration proceeding can be organized to suit each parties’ needs. The parties can choose the arbitrator or a group of arbitrators to make the decision in their dispute. An arbitrator can be a lawyer but does not have to be. In fact, the parties have the latitude to choose anyone that they can agree upon.

  • Speed

In most cases, arbitration is a much faster process than litigation. Arbitration will usually follow a more compressed and defined timeline when compared to a courtroom proceeding. In addition, arbitrators typically have lighter caseloads. As a result, parties can make their own schedules. Lighter caseloads also mean that arbitrators can come to a final decision in less time.

  • Simplicity

Litigation is a formal procedure that involves a lot of paperwork along with processes like hearings and depositions. Arbitration can be much simpler without many of the aspects that can complicate litigation.

  • Privacy

Arbitration is private, which means that the public will have no access to documents. Decisions will not be disclosed. In comparison, most filings in court proceedings are made public, including verdicts. While the parties can ask for documents to be sealed, whether they are made public or not is up to the judge and most judges rule on the side of keeping things open.

If you are interested in mediation or other forms of dispute resolution, contact us today. We can help you to decide what is your best option.

Using a Mediator Can Make for a Less “Messy” Divorce

Messy divorces make for great celebrity gossip and juicy story lines in movies, but in real life a mediator can make a marital split less traumatic for everyone involved.

Using a Mediator Can Make for a Less "Messy" Divorce

Typically, a divorce begins when one party files a complaint against their spouse in a domestic relations court. Just like other lawsuits, the parties exchange discovery, negotiate vigorously over rights to property, and head to trial if they cannot resolve the issues on their own.  A judge then decides how property will be divided, who will have custody and who will pay support.  Mediation is a less volatile, more private method of accomplishing the same results.

Benefits of Mediation

There are several ways mediation can ease the tension inherent in divorce.

  • Privacy – Court proceedings are mostly public.  In fact, the filing of divorces are often listed in newspapers or legal journals. The hearings are open to the public, unless a judge rules otherwise.  Mediation is a private affair between the two parties and the mediator. It is conducted behind closed doors – not in open court.
  • Children – Mediation shortens the time it takes to get a divorce and places less stress on parents.  When parents have more time and less stress, they can focus on the extra attention children may need to work through the divorce process.
  • Cost – Mediation can lower the costs of divorce, allowing each spouse more resources to start a new life or give support to children.
  • Time – Courtrooms are subject to dockets, the schedule of all cases before a particular judge. Even if your spouse and you agree on everything, you may have to wait until the final hearing can be scheduled.  Mediators are more flexible and are dealing with fewer cases.
  • Control – The spouses are more involved in the mediation process than they would be in court.  They can control what goes into their agreement.

When does mediation begin?

Spouses should begin considering mediation at the start.  Once two people realize their marriage is over, they should discuss the mediation alternative.  Some couples employ mediators before even filing for divorce.  But, if you have already filed, mediation is still an option.  If both parties agree, most courts will temporarily delay divorce actions to allow a couple to try mediation.

Does mediation always work?

Mediation does not work in all cases.  During the process the two parties meet with the neutral mediator and state their positions.  The mediator may come up with a proposed solution, and if both parties agree, then they have a Signed Mediation Agreement to present in court for a smooth divorce.

However, sometimes it just doesn’t work.  The splitting spouses may be too far apart on their views.  One may not want to compromise on a particular issue.  When that happens mediation has failed and the parties need to resort to the conventional divorce process.

Mediation may not always work, but when it does it can shorten the divorce process, save money and reduce the trauma for the spouses and their children.  To learn more about how mediation may work for you in a divorce contact us.  We specialize in mediation, and we can help.

Using Mediation to Create a Parenting Plan

Mediation has become a beneficial tool for individuals looking to divorce or establish custody and child support without enduring a grueling legal battle. If you have gone through a divorce or are considering establishing custody for your child, you might consider mediation as a way to create a plan in the most stress-free environment possible. Using mediation to create a parenting plan could be all that is needed.

Using Mediation to Create a Parenting PlanWhat Is a Parenting Plan?

If you intend to share joint legal custody with your child’s other parent, establishing a parenting plan is crucial. With this plan in tow, you can demonstrate to the court that both of you are fit to co-parent the child successfully. Mediation helps you put together this parenting plan.

A parenting plan should provide clear information about physical custody and visitation. You need to create a plan that shows you have all your ducks in a row, creating a low-conflict schedule you are committed to following.

A good parenting plan will also consider the child’s current needs and well-being in addition to how these needs will change one day. Additionally, the best plans include a process for resolving disputes that may pop up with time. A mediator will ensure your plan includes the key components.

How Does Mediation Help Create a Parenting Plan?

In mediation, both parents will discuss their roles and responsibilities in the child’s life. For instance, you will discuss where the child will live, who will provide health insurance, what school the child will attend, and even issues like where the child will attend church services.

One of the biggest benefits of using mediation to create this plan is so you can avoid the courts establishing a plan for you. With mediation, you retain control over the way you want to parent.

Are you ready to work with a mediator? Mediation helps many parents resolve disputes and establish plans that create a better co-parenting relationship. Contact us to learn more about mediation for co-parents.

The Benefits of Choosing Divorce Mediation

Going through a divorce can be an extremely stressful and emotional time; however, this time will likely only become more tense if the divorce proceedings go to court and end up becoming drawn-out and expensive. Thus, if you and your spouse are both willing to sit down and discuss your divorce without going through attorneys, then you may want to consider the benefits choosing divorce mediation could provide. Here are just a few of the reasons you should choose mediation if you are going through a divorce.

The Benefits of Choosing Divorce Mediation

Mediation is Quicker

One of the primary benefits of divorce mediation is that it is much quicker than other divorce alternatives. While mediation can still take weeks (or even months in some cases), traditional divorce often leads to litigation that can last months or even years. Mediation then provides the quickest option for you and your spouse to end your marriage in a timely manner.

It Is More Cost-Effective

Another benefit divorce mediation provides is that it is often much cheaper than other avenues of filing for divorce. In fact, compared to the large expenses you can amass hiring a divorce attorney and going to court, mediation could end up saving you as much as 50%. Considering divorce can already be a stressful and expensive time, the money saved by choosing mediation can be a great relief.

Mediation Can Keep Things Peaceful

Tensions between spouses can be extremely high during the divorce process; however, bringing lawyers into the equation often only makes the situation worse. By using the traditional route of going through divorce lawyers to settle your divorce in court, the situation is likely only to escalate as your attorneys fight over every detail of the divorce. Mediation provides a more peaceful alternative where a third-party mediator helps the couple to come to an agreement that will be mutually beneficial, helping to prevent fights, tensions, and long-lasting hurt feelings. Maintaining the peace can be particularly beneficial if you have children as you will likely have to interact with each other in the future.

Going through a divorce can be difficult enough, do not add the additional time, expense, and stress of taking your divorce to court, as many people have found divorce mediation to be a much simpler alternative. Contact us to learn more about mediation and the benefits it can provide.