Divorce Mediator: Tips to Decide Child Custody

One of the hardest parts of divorce is determining exactly who should have your children and when. Nobody wants to feel like they are losing their children just because their marriage didn’t work out.

However, if you decide to go through mediation, it is important that you bring a clear head. You need to work together to figure out what is best for your children, or you will end up in court.

Here are some tips to determine child custody during mediation.

Divorce Mediator: Tips to Decide Child Custody

It is important that you think about who they spend more time with. In most families, responsibilities are split between a couple. That is also true for children. However, when determining who should have the children and when you really need to look at yourself and your spouse. Who helps them with their homework every night? Who makes sure that they get baths and eats right? Who practices sports with them?

This being said, you both have your own time with your children so your custody arrangement should show that. If you are the one who gets them up for school and on the bus, you probably should have the children during the week. If you play sports with them on the weekends, it makes more sense for you to have them on the weekends.

And who has the time for them. Everyone has to work, so it is important to realize when you have time for your children. If you work fourteen-hour days, they might be better off with your spouse during the week. If you work weekends, there is no point in hiring a babysitter when they could just stay with your spouse during that time.

Though you may not want to give up your children, you need to take a hard look at your life. You need to figure out who does what with them and when you each have time for the children. This can be hard to do, but it is in the best interest of your children!

Contact us for all of your legal needs. We will help you come to the best agreement for you and your children.

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Why Divorce Mediation Might be the Best Strategy for Your Marriage

When a marriage isn’t working, it can affect everyone involved very negatively. In some cases, it is better for everyone if the relationship is ended amicably so that each side has the opportunity to get past the problems they’ve experienced as a result of the relationship. Many couples find themselves in a situation in which a clean break is difficult to achieve, and for people with children or complicated financial situations, long-lasting damage can occur in traditional divorce proceedings. It doesn’t have to be this complicated, and those who desire to begin the process of separating from their spouse, while still maintaining a healthy level of communication, should appreciate what the mediation process has to offer.

Why Divorce Mediation Might be the Best Strategy for Your Marriage

The Shortcomings of Traditional Methods of Divorce

Many people who decide that they wish to separate from their spouse, might find a lawyer and begin the divorce process as quickly as possible so that they can just get on with their lives. This is not always the best course of action, as it creates a situation where both sides are represented by someone who’s only concern is to deliver the most valuable outcome to their client, and after cases are made by both parties, their lives are ultimately split up based on a decision made by a Judge. Such an impersonal process can often exacerbate the situation and may ultimately cause a lot more animosity than necessary. Marriage is an extremely personal relationship and it would make sense that any attempt to repair or end one should be handled in a personal manner. Allowing a third party to dictate the terms of a divorce may not be the best way for everyone to deal with something like this, which is why it is important that every resource available to a married couple is explored.

The Value of the Mediation Process

Many of the weaknesses found with the traditional methods of divorce are actually the greatest strengths of mediation. When you and your spouse begin this process, you will be guided by a trained professional and by a mutual understanding to respect one another and maintain civility so that the best possible situation can be planned for and attained. When both parties are able to work through their relationship issues as a cooperative and are less inclined to see each other as enemies, they may begin to see the value of working with each other in a more personal and genuine fashion. A struggling marriage is hard enough to deal with, and people are considering divorce should look into this process if they desire to work on an ongoing relationship or end things on relatively good terms, be it for the well being of themselves, their children, or anything else impacted by their relationship. If this process sounds like it would be beneficial to you and your relationship with your spouse, or if you have any questions about mediation please do not hesitate to contact us.

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Beyond Divorce: Online Mediation For Extended Family Issues

Many people instantly think of divorce when they hear the word mediation. But there are other reasons to seek mediation. If you’re a member of the “sandwich generation” caught between your aging parents and your own children or grandchildren, online mediation may be beneficial for you. Here are three reasons to use online mediation for extended family issues.

Beyond Divorce: Online Mediation For Extended Family Issues

Reduce arguments

Your aging mother wishes to remain in her home until her death. You believe it’s unsafe for her to live alone, but you can’t take her in. Your sister wants to put her in a nursing home. Your brother thinks she should be allowed to live at home if she wants. The four of you could argue over this until your mother’s passing, but what good is that?

Online mediation gives you a neutral, unbiased third party to help navigate the discussion. Your mediator will hear all sides, and try to find the common ground between you and areas where you can compromise. Your mediator will also keep everyone on track and bring the discussion back to the point if you start going off on unrelated tangents.

Make sure everything is covered

When you first realize that it’s not safe for your mother to live alone, you might seek mediation to try to convince everyone that she needs a full-time caregiver or to go into a nursing home. But the situation is much more complex than that. You need to think about things like health and medical care, living expenses, end of life measures, what to do with the property she owns, and more.

Many families don’t immediately think of all the related concerns. An online mediator will help to ensure that you cover all the bases so that nothing is left to chance or completely ignored. Probate matters, guardianship, and finances are just a few of the things that can be handled through online mediation.

Involve the whole family

There was a time when entire families were born and died in the same town for generations. Today, though, families are scattered throughout the country and across the world. But distance should not be a reason that a loved one isn’t included in the decision making process. Online mediation is an ideal way of ensuring that all the family members who need or want a say in how a relative is cared for can be involved.

Online mediation allows you to schedule mediation that’s convenient for everyone and doesn’t require anyone to travel. It can also be helpful if you have small children and no childcare available. It can also provide a buffer if one or more parties doesn’t get along well.

Online mediation isn’t just for couples splitting up custody and property. Mediation allows entire families to have a respectful discussion and take action to care for a loved one. It allows you to make life-altering decisions without destroying the fabric of your family. Contact us today to schedule your online mediation appointment.

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Avoiding Conflict During Divorce with Mediation Part II

Going through a divorce is downright difficult. Most people go through many emotions, often one after another. Some days are going to be filled with sadness, while others are filled with anger. Because of this, many go through mediation instead of court. Here are some more tips to help you avoid conflict through mediation.

Avoiding Conflict During Divorce with Mediation Part II

You can’t go into mediation ready for battle. Many people going through divorce are out to get their ex-spouse. They want to take them for everything that they got (and then some). They might fight over every little item (even things that they never cared about before the divorce) because they want to punish him or her. If you go into mediation with this attitude, it is never going to work. You might as well go to court.

You need to be prepared to make compromises. You need to go into mediation knowing that you aren’t going to get everything that you want. You are going to have to work with your ex in order to divide up your assets.

Because of this, you need to know what you want, what would be nice, and what you don’t care about. Going into mediation, you need to know what your deal breakers are. What do you have to have? What can you compromise about? This will help get the talks started.

Even though you may want to go through mediation to avoid conflict and the court system, it is important to know that there are going to be times when conflict arises. You can’t go into mediation ready for a fight. Instead, you should take the time to figure out what you have to have and what you are willing to compromise on. This will really help things go smoother.

Contact us for all of your legal needs. We will help you get through this difficult time.

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Avoiding Conflict During Divorce with Mediation

Getting divorced may be one of the hardest things that you have ever done. In fact, you may be filled with many different emotions, one right after another. There are going to be days when you are so sad because of your loss and other days when all you feel is hate. Because of these emotions, many people turn to mediation to avoid fighting in court. Here are some tips to help you avoid conflict through mediation.Avoiding Conflict During Divorce with Mediation

Going into mediation, you need to know that there are going to be times when there is going to be conflict. Just because you are getting divorced and have decided to go through mediation doesn’t mean that your divorce is magically going to happen. You are not going to be able to compromise on every point. There are going to be some issues on which you are going to have to take some extra time to come up with a settlement that works for both of you.

Unfortunately, there are one or two things that can halt a divorce quickly. That usually involves children, and it can drag out the process for months (or even years).

Though it may not feel like it, it is essential that you take care of yourself during this process. If you are eating well and getting as much sleep as you can, you are going to start to feel better sooner. It may also help to find people that you can lean on during this challenging time.

By taking care of yourself, you are going to be calmer during the whole mediation process, cutting back on conflict. You are going to have a clearer head and may not be out for revenge.

Even though you may want to go through mediation to avoid conflict and the court system, it is important to know that there are going to be times when conflict arises. Some points are going to be easily solved, while others are going to be much more complicated. One thing that most people forget about during a divorce is to take care of themselves. If you are not eating well and getting enough sleep, you are going to struggle even more. Go outside and take walks to clear your head. Go to bed early so that you are ready for mediation the next day.

Contact us for all of your legal needs. We will help you get through this difficult time.

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Should You Use an Online Mediator for your Divorce?

If you don’t want to end up in court, you may be looking at divorce mediation. Since we live in a technical age, more and more people turn to an online mediator instead of meeting up with one in person. You may be wondering if you should use an online mediator. Here are some benefits that you may find when you use an online mediator.

Should You Use an Online Mediator for your Divorce?

Online mediation is fast. Most people are able to schedule an online mediation appointment within a week. At the first meeting, a mediator will help you decide what you need to split up so you can start figuring out how you want to do so.

Mediation costs a lot less than litigation. Though you will spend some money on lawyers and possibly a mediator, it can cost a lot more to go through court. In fact, many people say that getting divorced can cost around ten thousand dollars (or even more), depending on how long you fight it out in court.

Mediation is a lot better for your relationship than battling it out in court. If you have children, you are going to be in your spouse’s life for the rest of yours. Nasty divorces can make raising children together very hard. If you go through mediation, you are going to learn how to compromise with your spouse, and you can use these skills throughout the rest of your parenting life together.

You don’t have to be in the same room (or even location) as your spouse. Online mediation often works best because you don’t have to be near your spouse as you decide how you want to divide up your possessions. You can be in separate lawyer’s office, different homes, or any location where you can have privacy and an internet connection.

If you are trying to decide whether or not you want to try online mediation, you definitely should. It is a lot cheaper than going to court, plus you can salvage some of your relationships by learning how to work together and compromise.

Contact us to help you get through this difficult time in your life.

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Mediation, or how to end your divorce in the best possible terms.

Divorce is never easy. You’re undoing joint finances, splitting time with children, dividing your possessions, and most importantly, accepting that a relationship that you once hoped would last forever has ended.

The American Psychological Association calculates divorce rates in the United States between 40 and 50%. A study by the University of Maryland – College Park shows higher divorce rates among couples above 45 years of age. As we get older, change becomes a more daunting possibility.

Mediation, or how to end your divorce in the best possible terms.

We are used to the stories of traumatic divorces, the news of bitter disputes and the images of children in movies having to decide in family court which parent they will live with. Many people cringe at that image of divorce, and others might rather stay in an unhappy marriage than put their families and children through the process.

If you’re considering divorce, you should know this doesn’t have to be the way it goes. Do you believe your marriage is over but want to remain friends after the divorce? Do you want to set up an example for your children about how to successfully manage conflict? Mediation is an option for divorcing couples that allow for an easier transition for everyone involved. It keeps everyone out of family court and gives divorcing couples a voice in what they want at the end of the relationship.

Mediation takes the guessing out of divorcing and guarantees that no decisions will be made outside of the divorcing couple’s wishes. It creates room for greater equality in dividing assets and ensures no spouse receives special treatment. Mediation is also confidential, so if you are concerned about what your family, friends, and employers might say or think about you during a divorce process, mediation could be an alternative for you.

Not every couple can go through their divorce process through mediation. When issues like violence and intimidation are part of the reasons for the divorce, mediation is not recommended. Before starting a mediation process, both parties should be very honest with themselves and each other about their ability to stay respectful and open-minded as the process goes on. Anything that threatens open communication will get in the way of a successful mediation.

If you’re wondering if mediation is for you, think about this: you once loved the person you’re divorcing. You may even have children with him or her. Once upon a time, that person might have been your best friend.

Wouldn’t you want your children to see both of their parents happy? Move on with your life without regrets or resentments against the person you once shared a life with? Be genuinely happy for their successes later on?

If the answer to any of those questions is yes, mediation might be for you. Let’s find out together. 

Works Cited

American Psychological Association. “Marriage and Divorce.” Https://, Accessed 11 June 2019.

Miller, Ryan W. “Add Divorce to the List of Things Millennials Are Killing.” USA TODAY, 26 Sept. 2018, Accessed 11 June 2019.

Thompson, Ph.D., Jeff. “Stories Mediators Tell.” Psychology Today, 17 Sept. 2012, Accessed 11 June 2019.

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The Pros and Cons of Online Mediation

Divorces are some of the most stressful times any person can go through, as there is a mountain of emotional, familial, and legal issues both persons will have to go through. Why should you go through all those hurdles and hoops to detach yourself from the person you can no longer be with?

The Pros and Cons of Online Mediation

Online mediation is a relatively recent innovation in the unfortunate business of divorce and it uses modern tools and techniques to get a clean break in marriages that just aren’t working out. Online mediation isn’t all that different from in-person mediation, but there are differences between the two that you ought to consider before making a choice between them.

The Pros of Online Mediation

  • Scheduling is much easier.
    • By the virtue of having an online mediator, you, your partner, and the online mediator can more easily coordinate your schedules so that an online meeting can be set up without having to worry about driving here or there or missing out on your child’s recital.
  • It’s less confrontational.
    • Because online mediation happens on the internet, you can be as far away from your partner as you wish. This distance can facilitate a less confrontational environment for you and your partner. In addition to that, because you’d be hosting the mediation online, you may feel more relaxed talking to or about your partner than if they were in the same room as you are.

The Cons of Online Mediation

  • It’s not a traditional meeting.
    • Some folks will have a harder time adjusting to a virtual mediator than they would with one they can talk to face-to-face. If they can’t communicate with a virtual mediator as well as they would with a mediator in-person, than the quality of their communications and the result of the mediation will be likely be worse.
  • Tech Requirements
    • Because online mediation happens online, both partners need a strong and stable internet connection to begin with. If that isn’t available to either partners, than online mediation is not going to work out as well as in-person mediation would.

There are of course other pros and cons to online mediation, but they are no different than what you’d get from an in-person meeting with a mediator. If online mediation sounds like what you need, then please contact us today so we can work together today.

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More Tips to Use an Online Mediator for your Divorce

Divorce is a scary word, and it is never easy. Many people love to drag their drama through the court system, though there is a better way. Divorce mediation can help a couple sort through their possessions quicker and easier than going in front of a judge.

That being said, mediation can be the hardest thing that you may ever have to do. Here are some more tips to help you through your online divorce mediation.

More Tips to Use an Online Mediator for your Divorce

Know your financial situation. Finances are often the hardest (after children) part of becoming divorced. You have to go through your bank statements, including your checking and savings accounts. You may have several retirement accounts to divide up. Have a list of your debts too. This may include any loans (mortgage, car, etc.) and credit cards. All of this has to be divided.

Keep mediation sessions for dividing up your possessions. You don’t need to air your dirty laundry to your mediator. He or she is not going to take sides and make sure that one person comes out ahead of the other. He or she is going to help you muddle through the division of your possessions.

Besides, the longer it takes, the more money it is going to cost you. That is another reason to stay on topic during your sessions.

Don’t get emotional. Divorce is extremely emotional, and many couples are dealing with many different emotions – from anger, pain, and disbelief. Sometimes, they all hit you at once.

However, you can’t bring them to your mediation sessions. When you get emotional, you won’t get anywhere. If you feel like you need a moment to catch your breath, take a break. Walk outside and get some fresh air. Come in ready to try again. You will get a lot farther when you are emotionally ready to talk.

Before you even get started, you need to know your financial situation. You need to know what you are dealing with before you can figure out how to divide it. You also need to be prepared for your sessions. You need to stay on topic and don’t get emotional, or you won’t get anywhere!

Contact us to help you get through this difficult time.

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What is the Difference between Mediation and Arbitration?

With more and more people turning to the courts to solve disputes, courts have become backlogged with cases. As a result, the courts have tried to fast-track cases by facilitating options for alternative dispute resolution. The two most common types of alternative dispute resolution are mediation and arbitration.

What is the Difference between Mediation and Arbitration?

Mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution where a neutral third party, a mediator, helps two parties reach an agreement. The third party is supposed to be impartial and cannot make decisions as to who is right or wrong. Even if the parties cannot agree to resolve all of their problems, a mediator can help narrow them down so that the parties can take only the issues they cannot agree on to trial. Mediation is relatively inexpensive in comparison to paying legal fees for going to trial.

Arbitration is also a form of alternative dispute resolution. The difference between arbitration and mediation is that in arbitration, the parties plead their case in front of an arbitrator who decides the outcome. The arbitrator’s decision is binding on the parties, unlike in mediation, where the mediator only helps the parties reach an agreement. It can be difficult to overturn an arbitrator’s decision in many cases. Typically, parties will use arbitration because it was a process agreed to through a contract to avoid going through lengthy and expensive litigation. Many business and employment contracts have arbitration as their choice for dispute resolution because it is binding.

However, if the parties can agree, mediation is the best option. It gives the parties the freedom to craft their own terms and negotiate with one another. If you are in the middle of a legal dispute and you need help sorting out the issues, contact us for more information on how we can assist you with your case today.

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